When asked to think of a list of cold things, one might think of this list in increasing severity: Snowballs, ice bathes, glaciers, the peak of Mount Everest, Antarctica, and the Henson Auditorium. “The Henson Auditorium?” you say quizzically. Yes, that is its rightful place in the lineup. The auditorium is a lovely place for students, teachers and community members to gather for assembly, class meetings, special speakers, and performances. However, as the audience tries to focus on student leaders on stage, (and possible panini line related uprisings being led) they are turning to ice cubes in their seats! Goose bumps are a common sight, and fingers are turning blue! Many have been seen trying to hibernate in sweatshirts or curling up under blankets. The air sucks warmth from the body faster than the vortex of space and chills more directly than an icicle piercing skin! So today, I ask that we be able to stop reverting to penguin-like strategies of huddling for warmth, and return to human behaviors. I beg, to the powers who chose school air-conditioning temperatures: please, warm the auditorium!

The benefits of such a warming would be numerous. Better functioning students and teachers, more attentive audiences, lower energy usage, and the thawing of our weekly brain-freezes! The auditorium is a large space and by reducing the air-conditioning power, thousands of dollars could be saved over time. We could be reduce our environmental footprint and be a more sustainable school! We would no longer have to cover-up in fear of Himalayan mountain winds blowing through the air, and we could act like humans again! Perhaps even student-led uprisings would be kept to a minimum. So again, I beg to the powers who chose school air-conditioning temperatures: please, warm the auditorium!

I must admit, I am not the first to propose such a change; there has been a petition circling with this request: “Cool the water fountains to the temperature of the auditorium, and warm the auditorium to the temperature of the water fountains”. While to me, the temperature of the water fountain is an entirely separate problem, these students have a valid point. They shiver through assembly and simply want to enjoy a reasonably temperate room. Such a small request may not seem important in the grand scheme of school planning, but it could be so simply fixed with the adjustment of a thermostat and greatly improve the school assembly experience! So again, I beg to the powers who chose school air-conditioning temperatures: please, warm the auditorium!