Lauran Greene – Spaghetti, Tardies, and Love

An interview with the one and only Ms. Greene


How many strains of spaghetti can she slurp in one minute?

— Erron Thomas

What does one think when asked about Ms. Greene? Some might wonder “Does she lead a lit afterschool life?” or “Does she partake in any outlandish activities outside of school?” We might also ask, “How many strands of spaghetti can she slurp in one minute?” or “Is Ms. Greene secretly a tattoo artist?” Unfortunately, Ms. Greene does not partake in any of these outlandish activities. When it comes to her weekend life, one could argue that it mirrors one of a student. After the weekly grind, Ms. Greene often finds herself on the couch surfing various channels of cable, or watching “whatever  movie is on” at the time. Although some may think she is the type of adult who would spend her weekend nights partying, she isn’t.  Ms. Greene is more like one of us students. Many of us will relate to her opinion on having to go to school to learn- she didn’t like it. Ms. Greene says, like many of us students, that she “didn’t see the value in learning, this made me not respect it.” Eventually, Ms. Greene grew to learn the importance of education, graduated high school, and ended up coming back to a high school to work!

Now, I know Ms. Greene seems like she has a hard exterior, and the fact that she owns a motorcycle and what-not might make her look all tough and stern, but, in her own words, she is just “a big goofball”. Ms. Greene’s “T-shirt Throwing Fiasco” is a perfect example of her silliness. At the most recent football game, I was blessed with the opportunity of witnessing THE Lauran Greene throw a shirt to bleachers of screaming fans. As Ms. Greene wound up, I could see the determination in her face, the certainty that she could throw the T-shirt as high as the tallest bleacher. In a matter of seconds, Ms. Greene locked in on her target on the farthest most bleacher and completed her throwing motion. With the speed of a panther, the shirt flew out of Ms. Green’s hand and immediately smacked into the face of an innocent bystander, causing Ms. Greene to dive to the ground out of sheer embarrassment.

Our friendship has nothing to do with you getting to class on time

— Lauran Greene

Still, to people new to high school, Ms. Greene can still seem a little scary. She is very upset about this reputation because she has so much love for the students. Ms. Greene hopes to be seen as a person who “cares about the students and as someone who they can talk to and confide in”. Many of you may be wondering “If Ms. Green is so friendly with us and wants the best for the students, why does she continue to consistently give her homies the dreaded white slips when late?” When asked this question, Ms. Greene simply states, “Our friendship has nothing to do with you getting to class on time.” While she does have a valid point, students can find it very frustrating to receive a tardy slip from someone who they can vent to about an annoying day or someone who they just spent 30 minutes talking about the latest Game of Thrones or Walking Dead episode.  Although Ms. Greene wants you to know that she is a “very nice lady,” she also wants you to know when a student is late or the office has gotten rowdy, then she is not afraid to be stern with the students in a way they may not like. Similarly, Ms. Greene has and has always had a no-tolerance policy for bullying, and has always been the one to stand up in the face of bullying. That being said, she has a talent for quickly flipping back to being the funny and relatable teacher we all know and love. Ms. Greene is known around campus for her friendly smile and benign pranks. If you ever see her walking down the halls, make sure to go up to her and say hello; although, keep a watchful eye out for her evil twin, Eneerg Narual!

Ms. Greene’s office is often seen as the “place-to-be” for some students and faculty.  Some people love to come to her office to play with the infamous Mardi Gras babies that are omnipresent in and around her desk. Others use this office as a workplace or a place to just relax and escape from the demanding school day. Because of this, Ms. Greene’s office has become a vital place for the average student, and even though it may look a little bizarre these days because of the new furniture, students still find time to walk in and strike up a conversation with Ms. Greene. She wants you to know that her office is always open to anyone who needs a supportive smile, hug, or friend.

Finally, I asked her, “If you could work anywhere else or do anything else what would you be doing and where would you be?” Ms. Greene responds, “I- I don’t know, I can’t answer this question.” I followed up, “Why can’t you see yourself working elsewhere?” Her response was absolutely heartwarming. Ms. Greene says, “I love you guys!” She loves working at Newman because of her relationship with us. We students make Ms. Greene the happiest, and according to her, we are the reason why she loves waking up and coming to her desk job. We should be so thankful to all our teachers in this school who have the same passion for making meaningful connections with students.

We are all thankful for our wonderful homie Ms. Lauran Greene.

~ Be eazy,


Edited by Avni Shridhar

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