DO NOT GO TO CATS THE MOVIE

Yes, everything you have heard about Cats the movie is true. It is scary, a little too erotic, and makes no sense at all. Going into the movie, I knew I would not like it. I was forced to see the play when I was younger and the real-life cat actors were enough to traumatize my 8-year-old mind. My brother and I sit down, the movie starts and, as expected, it is as bad as every article said it would be.

Throughout the movie, the characters continue to say they are going to some ball. Leading up to that point, they sing, dance, act extremely sexual, and did I mention they sing… a lot. At one point, all the weird-looking cats were in one room and were almost competing for what seemed to be a “Jellicle Cat” title… whatever that means. Little did I know, THIS WAS THE BALL! It did not make any sense. ┬áThen, a bad guy comes and tries making everyone disappear so he could win the title of “Jellicle Cat,” but he is obviously denied this title.

I know the movie is based on the play, but it does not make sense why a cat who threatens everyone would be considered for this exclusive title. Also, the movie continued to hype up the idea that Taylor Swift was in it, but she randomly appears at the ball for one scene and that’s it.

On top of it all, they tie in this cat that has been disowned by everyone who is played by Jennifer Hudson, and she continues to come to the ball crying nonstop until the main character gives her an opportunity to sing. Suddenly, this side character who we see three times, each time crying and singing, wins the title of “Jellicle Cat.”

The movie then ends with Jennifer Hudson leaving in a hot air balloon into the sky as the winner of the ball. After, an old cat, Judi Dench, looks at the camera. She almost looks right past your boredom and confusion from coming to this movie and looks right into your soul. While doing this weird stare, she begins to sing about why humans should accept cats, love them, and give them the respect they deserve.

As the credits begin to roll, I am thinking 2 things: what just happened, and was this one big $190 million production to make people more aware/accepting of cats? Also, what a waste of my time. I wasted 2 hours of my time, and I am writing this to save you. I’d rather stare at a wall than rewatch that movie. Worst yet, I’d rather watch the emoji movie on repeat again than rewatch Cats. All in all, the movie was horrendous, and I do not recommend. If you love cats, do not see this movie. If you hate cats, do not see this movie. Overall, I give this movie my lowest remarks and I hope you make a smart decision and never go see this movie EVER.