As some of you may know, I returned at the end of May from a life-changing semester abroad as part of Alexander Muss High School in Israel (AMHSI). This four-month period changed how I see the world, taught me about my history and my religion, but most of all, taught me so much about myself.
Despite the complexities of being in a country during a time of war, I was still able to immerse myself in the daily life of my high school program. One special aspect of the AMHSI experience was the variety I had in my schedule; each day was brand new as I discovered life through the country I now consider my home. On some days, I would have a “normal” school experience – wake up in my dorm, go to breakfast, and head to class. I started every class day with my Jewish Studies class, a special opportunity to grow and learn about myself. In the class, I did everything from learning the history of Israel, doing Jewish text study, learning biblical history, and learning about the Jewish people in modern times. I then completed all the classes I was previously taking at Newman, and a Hebrew class, which was a great way to learn how to communicate with others and learn an important aspect of my culture I was not as familiar with.
After class, I would do activities with the other teens in my group, who were a highlight of my program. Being surrounded by 49 other Jewish peers who shared the same passion for their religion and Israel was truly special. I not only got to learn so much about them, but I also learned about myself. In addition to school days, we had tiyul days (“tiyul” means trip in Hebrew), which were one of the best parts of my experience. These tiyuls (or tiyulim) varied from hikes around the country, visiting historical museums and sites, fun trips such as beaches, and learning about Israeli life since October 7th, 2023.
This brings me to the importance of the time I decided to be in Israel. By being in Israel right now, I not only got to see how the Israeli people function during wartime, but also how the country remains strong, a place of life, culture, community, and most of all love and hope. However, it certainly was a complicated time to be in Israel, both from a safety perspective and an emotional one. I went knowing there would be air raid sirens, and I would inevitably have to go into bomb shelters, perhaps weekly. However, after learning safety protocols and tracking missiles on an app, I also came to realize this had become a regular part of life for Israelis. To quote my journal, I wrote about this experience: “It’s not that I don’t feel safe, it’s just that I sometimes feel unrest. The sound is excruciating; it rings on and on, a warning that you must run. It echoes as I run or lay on the ground. I can hear peoples’ voices, as they are afraid for their safety or full of anxiety. Our hearts beat together and we lay and place our hands on our heads. We are told to cross our legs and stay for 10 minutes. Ten minutes of fear of the unknown, 10 minutes of anxious waiting, counting the seconds. 10 minutes checking our phones where it is landing, hoping it already landed far, far away, harming nobody in the process. It’s a cycle, and for Israelis it has become a norm.”
Nothing left more of an impression on me than what I learned about October 7th while I was in Israel. One experience that struck me in particular was visiting the Nova Music Festival site and kibbutzim that were directly attacked on that day. This gave me greater insight and put into perspective many of the emotions I have been feeling over the past two years. After visiting, I wrote in my journal, “On February 4, 2025, we visited the site of the massacre on October 7th that took place at the Nova Festival near the Gaza Strip. This truly was a meaningful experience that I will never forget, and a day that was thought-provoking in many ways. As I stepped foot onto the grounds, I recalled all the stories and everything I knew about that awful day and realized it was right where I was standing. This thought truly was mind-altering and put the massacre into even more perspective. One of the most meaningful parts of the experience was walking around the large grounds that had signs placed with the victims of the day. They all had messages from loved ones describing who the person was and what they loved in life. Reading the people’s stories made me realize the gravity of the terror on October 7th and that the number of people should not be seen as a statistic but rather a multitude of heartbreaking losses.”
As we walked on the Nova site, we were told stories by our teachers about people they knew who were there on October 7th. The incredibly small size of Israel’s population sadly ensures that everyone, directly or indirectly, knew someone affected, and hearing such personal reflections highlighted this and the deeply personal toll for the country. Experiencing such powerful moments with my peers has helped me bond with them even more closely.
Another powerful part of our program that brought the group closer and expanded our understanding of history was a week-long trip to Poland to learn about the Holocaust and see firsthand some of the sites and communities that were devastated. Being in the country where my family survived such atrocities and visiting the locations in which they suffered helped me feel connected to my family and myself. In my journal entitled “Walking through my history,” I wrote: “One of the most significant moments of the Poland trip for me was telling my great-grandparents’ Shoah [Holocaust] experience in front of that very train car. It was very emotional to tell their story in the place where they suffered through and to imagine them getting out of that car to face the terror. Telling their story in the camp was my way of honoring them and to say never forget.” Having such a moving experience helped me feel even more grateful for the life I have today, and what my family went through so I could be here.
Another highlight for me was completing Yam L’Yam with my program. (“Yam -L’Yam” means “sea to sea” in Hebrew), a four-day hiking trek from the Mediterranean Sea to the Sea of Galilee. The experience of camping out and hiking all day really put me out of my comfort zone, but also helped me connect to the land I was walking on.
To reflect on my overall journey, I’ll quote my final essay: “However, more than any person or location, my journey through Alexander Muss has taught me the most about myself. My biggest goal when beginning my Israel experience was to learn about myself and connect even more to my Judaism, and I believe I achieved just that. Being in the places in which Judaism was brought up and learning about my Jewish history has brought me closer to that part of myself. By experiencing different forms of Judaism, my passion has grown, and so has my interest in discovering more and diving deeper into my religion. Muss has taught me to define my own form of Judaism and not limit myself to labels of restrictions. It has also allowed me to be fully and openly Jewish and feel free to do so, which has deepened my love for Judaism. Muss has also opened many opportunities for me to strengthen my Jewish identity in the future and encouraged me to strive for a career in rabbinics that I would like to pursue. In addition, Muss has immensely strengthened my connection to the land of Israel. Although before Muss I had a deep love for the country, living here and travelling throughout it has grown my love for it even more. Learning about the history of the land and all Israelis have overcome and are still persevering through made me appreciate the land even more, and gave me an even stronger sense of Zionism. Being at Muss has prepared me to advocate for Israel back in America and to strive to stand up for the land and its people. In addition, partially learning the language has given me a way to connect to Israel and communicate with the people. Muss has also provided me with a strong sense of connection to Jewish people. Muss has not only given me another Jewish community I can turn to, but it has taught me about the history we share and that uniting is the best way to advocate for ourselves. Overall, the Muss experience is one that I will never forget, and one that’s taught me about countless people and places, and most of all myself and my individual identity.”
As I reflect on my journey, I think of the person I was before the program, and honestly, I don’t recognize her. The immense growth from the program is something I will forever be proud of and always treasure.
